hi....

miss me kah??hehe

today i just want to talk about him haha, my baby now.. even i still don't know how i feel with him, but i don't want him to leave me now, like he's my life now, in the morning i've got a little fight with him, the fight start from me i think, because i shared my opinion about poligami, we have a same thought, he didn't want to poligami either, but he always saw from his bad thoughts first, he said if you can overcome the worst of things, the easy things will be easy to overcome, like he asked me what if u have a husband want to poligami and he has done all the sunnah, and other question that makes me mad, like broke me, i just want to share my knowledge that i just got, and hope when he didn't agree with me, just explain what he thinking with a nice word, not force me with other question that makes me imagine when i'm in that position "worst position". 

one time when i'm with some boys that i dated before, when i shared my thoughts or my knowledge that i just got, he reply me with a praise first, end then he explained me what he knew about the topic, i know he disagree with me, but when someone explaine with a nice word, and didn't show me that he disagree, i just feel that my knowledge not vain. 

i think i'm just irritable, in my thought, my partner should understand me that i'm irritable, and i don't want in the relationship, we always fight about little thing, when i'm in that position to hear while my partner explaine anything, i do the same thing.

i think my baby just stubborn, and he didn't know how to treat woman to fall in love with him, to make me comfort around him, appreciate me, he always see me with a bad side, when i did what he told me to do, he never praise me.

but he still my baby, after i debated with him, he said sorry, and me too, after that we video call like nothing happen. 

 hii...

i'm now with new man, actually he's not my boyfriend, but we just have a serious relationship i think, after i finished my final result in campus and i post it on ig, he chat me and we're conversations just let it flow, but at the time when he chat me, i just break up with my ex boyfriend that i said in the previous post

actually i have 4 criteria for my future boyfriend, i don't want to end up like before, and it's hard for me to start with a new guy, my habit before is always start with a new guy that i like, that makes my heart beat fast, and i run to him to make the guy like me, always like that, i don't care about he's characters, about bad traits he had, after several years i realize that if i just have love, not considering about his history, the same goal, and there's no trust between us, the relationship doesn't work, so my criteria that i made base on my religion.

1. always reading quran everyday

2. not a smoker

 3. remember surah Al-mulk

4. more tall than me

the new man that i met now have 4 criteria that i want, but there's no feel when i close with him, he can't make my heart beat fast, i just confuse, what should i do in the future, if still there's no feel with him

 hi..

today i decide to broke up with my boyfriend, literally 2 days ago when we should go search for a bread i want but he just sleep all day, but it's not that point i want to broke up with him. a few days ago, all of sudden he said that i sent a video to him with email, when i check my email, there's mail that i sent to him on 5th January, but i'm sure that i never sent anything to him, in that video, there's me doing work out and just wearing a sport bra, i really shock he got my video, i really don't know he just trick me or not, but i can't blame him, i didn't have anything to prove it, but i don't want to go to far with him, even my journey with him almost 5 years, i think it's enough, i really tired to faced all of his lie, i try to accept him again, but i always imagine his old mistake

i just want to thank you to his family, his family really really kind to me, I hope get a husband that his family is as good as my ex family does.

 Hiii...

it's been so long that i didn't check my first blog that i write before and i'm sorry my english still bad so i just write what's in my head 

i just laugh when i see my first write, in that blog, i said i want to marry in 22, and now i'm almost 23 but still don't know who should i marry yet, i have a boyfriend, i'm with her almost 5 years, but i'm not sure i want to marry him or not, because he smoke and so many problem that he made, and all of it is a big problem, like a liar, cheating and other else, beside that, i'm too scraed to leave him, my family and his family are so close, and he promised not to do it again. i forgive him but still everyday i imagine his fault, i didn't want my spouse has a characters like he has, but now i'm still with him :) because only he accepts me who i am, he can control my ego, he never mad at me, even i'm wrong he debate me with a nice word and he love me. so i think i should make myself better than before, kind with other people, and more care about my parents and my sister. with that i believe that Allah didn't give me with a wrong person to become my spouse.

new life in this blog

hi..
I don't know the words in my new blog..
but i just telling you some facts about me..

1. I was born in 1998
2. I am muslim & i love my religion so much
3.  I hate smokers
4. I like being alone

5. i'm a chubby cheek

6. I can't go on a diet
7. I love food too much
8. I don't like seafood like shrimp etc, but i like fish
9. I love shahrukh khan movies
10. I cry too easily
11. I love the smell of rain
12. I have plan to married in 22 and go to my favorite country in london
13. I love money and some call me stingy, but  i need to save money for myself, my family and for charity rather than spend money for anyting no important
14. I don't celebrate my birthdays as i think there are only two days that matters, a birthday and a death-day
15. I am a daydreamer

16. i want to be a flight attendant
17. and i love being me